I remember a friend. Two years ago she died due to leukemia, in that small, brightly lit ward number-501. I remember every detail of that day because it taught me the true meaning of life. She had squeezed a paper into my hand before she closed her eyes. The heading read- "I wish". My vision blurred as I read the words. Tears rolled down my cheeks and I knew what I had to do.


I wish I had opened up to you, told you about the little things bothering me

I wish you would listen to me as I spoke with insecurity, say a magical word

I wish I could take you as a friend mom

I wish you knew to be a friend before being a parent

I wish you would understand- that little comfort made all the difference.

I wish I had spent more time listening to you excitedly go about the soccer results

I wish I had gone on more drives or fishing with you

I wish I could learn as much as possible those minute things you were eager to give me as a gift

I wish we talked about our interests

I wish we valued each moment we had together dad.

I wish I had known earlier what you meant to me friend

I wish I was grateful for that smile shining through my cloudy day

I wish I hadn't forgotten to thank you for accompanying me when I was scared to walk alone

I wish I had multiplied your goodness and not the mistakes

I wish you said the exact words at the desired moments

I wish you knew the depths of my heart

I wish I had forgiven yours for my mistakes

I wish I had told you how much I loved you

I wish I could make it up to every soul I met

I wish I could amend those mistakes I made mostly unknowingly

I wish I encouraged a person to go on

I wish I spoke a sweet word ever so often and made someone's day

I wish I spared another smile at the old cleaning lady at school

I wish I spent more time with my family

I wish I realized the meaning of friendship

I wish I removed that stone or every hurdle on other's way

I wish I listened to the birds singing and admired the waves splashing

I wish I remembered to thank God more often

I wish I could turn back time.

When life ends, so do our dreams, feelings and existence. Prevent yourself from wishing the wrong thing at the wrong time. Live in the present and wish for the best NOW.

Copyright © 2000 Jenefar Alam