HELPING THROUGH THE GRIEF - Page 11

"In struggling against anguish one never produces serenity; the struggle against anguish only produces new forms of anguish."
Simone Weil

News like that hits you like a brick. No, worse, it hurts you like only someone you love can. Nobody really has to tell you. You seem to know. You can read it from their body. You hear it in the quivering voice of the one bringing the news. You hit rock bottom.

And it isn't before you have taken that path into the depths of your mourning heart, that you can start loving yourself again. Start to feel in control once more, where it was once ripped from your hands. Get over, but never forget, that guilt - because everyone feels guilt.

Even if it's not apparent, everyone still does. Perhaps for the most illogical, unreasonable and absurd reasons, we still do. For a while the grieving is all you think about. You cry until you believe that no more tears could possibly come, yet they do. Then comes the numbness. How can life possibly be worth anything if it allowed that beautiful person to die?

It becomes a perfect burning scratch on the face of your Soul. A deep gash, that not even a faultless funeral or a loving testament can cure. After some time it develops into an apparent scar. It grows into 'an issue' - something that might heal, but will never, ever fade.

That scar becomes more evident in times when you feel better and beautiful. Just like a scar stays white while the rest of your skin becomes brown due to the sun, the old gash will remain and seem clearer. During depression, the closed wound will fade in between the other miserable problems of life. Yeah, you'll let it fade into the distance, fall between the cracks, but you never forget.
Copyright © 2001 Elke Boogert

I just lost my uncle a couple of days ago whom I loved very much. My aunt and our whole family are still grieving over the loss of his daughter, my cousin four months ago. I was looking for a poem to read at his funeral tomorrow and I found a perfect one. I am hurting so very much. I wonder how much one person can take without losing it. I have been reading everyone's poems and they are truly a blessing and a comfort. Thank you all so very much and God blessing.
Submitted by Melody B. --- Pennsylvania

The best quote I know comes from an unusual source, but one that shows his personal experience, caring, and wisdom...

"It comes with bittersweet agony... I am anxious to afford some alleviation of your present distress. Perfect relief is not possible, except with time. You cannot realize that you will ever feel better. And yet it is a mistake. You are sure to be happy again. To know this, which is certainly true, will make you some less miserable now. I have had experience enough to know what I say."
Abraham Lincoln

The one line that stuck after seeing the movie, "Steel Magnolias," was the one by Trudy to her friends as they were leaving thefuneral:

"Laughing through the tears is my favorite emotion."

And another by Lincoln that suggests why some participate in bereavement support groups...

"To ease another's heartache is to forget one's own."
Abraham Lincoln
Submitted by Ed Madara

I remember a time...when I was young, waking up to a tap on my shoulder and a whisper in my ear saying "Hurry or you will miss it." And I would run as fast as my little legs would carry me out to see this magical thing that changed my life forever.

Moments in time come and go and we are the only ones that can choose whether or not to cherish them...but still there are things that will always remain in my mind. I can't change what has happened but I can remember all the memories that I am left with.

Now, while walking down the beach, I find myself gazing up at the sunrise that I have awakened to see and catch myself thinking about my father, and missing him so much that I can't breathe.

Now I know that if there is one thing that my father and I can share while being separated. It is the few simple minutes the sun takes, to come up every morning, to remind me just how much of my father is still in me and that he is always watching.
Copyright © 2001 Jamie Holt

My sister lost her boyfriend in a car accident and this quote reminded her of it.

"Sometimes, no matter how much faith we have, we lose people, but you never forget them. And sometimes,it's those memories that give us the faith to go on!"
Author Unknown
Submitted by Heather W., Age 14 --- Georgia

I just read a piece by Kendra Guisinger and I wanted to tell her that I too know what she's going through. Not exactly like her, but kinda.

My older brother died on December 2, 1999 from a massive heart attack. We found out later that he had a congenital heart defect and that is what killed him. It was just so sudden.

I still sit here and every once in a while, I get terrible memories. It's so hard to have these wonderful memories and then once they start, they get interrupted by the memory of the night that my brother died.

I remember every second of that day and it's so hard. I just want to forget it, but I can't. I can't forget what he looked like that night either or at the funeral and that's so hard. So, I just wanted to say that I love ya Kendra. Thanks for sharing your story.
Miranda Sherman --- Colorado

(My precious husband Don went to be with Our Lord on June 21, 2001, after a ten-month battle with cancer.)

Shortly after Don's death I got furious with God. I cried in agony. I screamed, "Why, Why?" I shook withgrief. I wept bitter, selfish tears. Then I repented with shame and I thanked God for leading Don to pain-freeHeaven. I expressed gratitude to God for giving Don and me over 47 years of a blessed marriage and 5 sons.

I smiled in memory of God sprinkling joys in our path even in our darkest moments. I agreed that God has abetter place for Don. My heart aches and breaks for anyone who gives a spouse up and back to Our Lord.

May their grief be eased by happy memories of times spent with the one who has gone on. May thebereavement tears wash the souls of the faithful.
Amen, Love and Gentle Blessings.
Mary Ann Herman --- Texas
Yes, my beloved is with God in Heaven now. Our family and friends have been extremely supportive in many ways. What a blessing. In spite of my repentance I still weaken and yell at Don off and on, "Why did you leave?" However, I would NOT wish Don's last pains on earth on my worst enemy. Such suffering...tore me to pieces...and I can imagine what that pain did to Don. Finally God said, "Enough...Come home, Son!" And, I can picture Don in Heaven, lookin' around and thinkin', "Hey, this is O.K."

DON'T CRY ANY MORE

Don't cry any more tears for me, I am at peace, I'm finally free.
Like the eagle in the sky, I am soaring, so please don't cry.
I know you love me, I love you too,
But my time was over, was finally through.
I have ascended to a better place,
Which is not confined by time or space.
To those that loved me, I did not fall,
I only succumbed to a higher call.
Do not mourn me, I am with you still.
I'll be with you always, from dawn---until.
Copyright © 2000 Kathi Toups

Six months ago Nancy, my mother-in-law, passed away. It's has been one of the most difficult experiences for my husband Mario and me. I've always said to him that sometimes God takes away and gives a lot more.

A few months ago, I had a dream about Nancy. She was happier than ever and was laughing. I looked down and she had drawn me, Mario, and another person but I could not see the face too clearly.

Four months ago I found out I was pregnant with my first baby. Again I dreamed about Nancy only this time, she laughed and laughed and showed me the picture of Mario, a baby boy, and me.

Nancy has given us the most wonderful gift anyone could have ever given us and wherever she's at, I want to say you have given us hope, love, peace in our life, heart and daily living. We love you.
Lisi and Mario

In memory of my beloved friend:
Jason Kneale Saulnier 9/16/75 - 2/27/01
Age 25 from Lung Cancer.

I Love you Jay!
Until we're together again,
Rest in Peace Always Loving, Never Forgetting,
Amanda

IF I COULD HAVE BEEN YOUR ANGEL

If I could have been your angel...
I would have carried you within my wings.
I would have carried you off to a land consumed of better things.

Where golden rays of sunshine would kiss you upon your face.
Where the arms of the clouds would hold you in their embrace.
Where the coolness of the rain would replenish your soul.
Where the calmness of the wind would make you complete and whole.

Where the birds of the land would sing the song in your heart.
Where you and your happiness would never be apart.
Where the shimmering stars would bring all that you seek.
Where you could view the world through the eyes of the sea.

If I could have been your angel...
I would have picked you up and flown away.
I would have made yesterday's frown become the smile of today.
I would have picked up your spirit soaring through endless skies.
Where all your dreams would have lived
And all your pains would have died.
Copyright © 2001 Amanda Martin

In memory of Santiago "James" Morales, who passed away on September 27, 1996 and was laid to reston the day I wrote this. He is gone but will never be forgotten.

Although I lost you long ago,
I never thought I'd ever know
The pain of losing you for good....
I just never thought I would.

I always thought
You would be around,
But now your body
Is in the ground.

I hope your soul
At last will rest
I hope you know
I loved you best.

Your pain on earth
Now will cease.
I'll never forget you...
Rest in peace.
Copyright © 1996 Becky Faught

OUR DAD

Some men are rich,
Some sit upon a throne.
But we had a Dad
And a place to call home.

Seven of us children and a wonderful mother
We didn't need money, we had each other.
Through sickness or health, no matter what it might be,
We stuck together, like a flock of bees.

We all are married and have families of our own,
But how we enjoyed going back home.
Open the door and what would you see
But two fine people watching TV.

Enjoying life the way they should,
And sometimes you wondered how long they could.
Before the Lord would come and take one away,
And this we know would sadden our day.

So all was fine until August 16,1999
When the Lord called
And knocked upon our door,
And Dad we had no more.

The curtains were pulled, the day was dark
For this was the day we had to part
From the one we loved and cherished too.
For he was a real Dad each and every year through.

We will never forget
What our Dad has done,
But we will remember his last words,
"Watch out for Mom".

And this I know we all will do
Until down the list to our name
The Lord will come.
Then we all will meet in Kingdom Come.
Copyright © 1999 Laurie Day
Happy Fathers Day, Dad. I Miss and Love You.
Your Daughter, Laurie

My dad died about 6 months ago. He had a massive heart attack, so it was very sudden. There was no saying good-bye or any last "I love yous". I was left to deal with all the pain and loneliness that losing one of the most important people in your life leaves you.

I felt like I was all alone and had to no one who could relate to me. I thought maybe by telling my story...I could help someone out there, just like me, know that they are not alone and that there are other people out there who know how you are feeling and truly do understand.

One of the hardest parts of life is realizing that things change and that everything isn't always going to go the way you want it to. I woke up one morning and everything was normal.

It just seemed like any other boring day at school. I laughed and told jokes with my friends...even talked about the huge argument I had gotten into with my parents the night before. How was I to know, that by lunchtime that day...my life would be forever changed?

I went to lunch and before I had finished eating, the office secretary was standing beside me, telling me that I was needed in the office. My first thoughts were, oh crap, what was I in trouble for now!

When I got to the office my brother and Aunt were there waiting for me. I knew something was wrong, because there were tears running down her face.

She then looked at me and said, "Your dad has a had a heart attack and he is at the hospital." That's when my heart sank and it felt like everything in my life was suddenly flashing before my eyes.

My brother ran out of the office, faster then I ever knew he could run. He came back a few minutes later and yelled at me to get in his truck. We drove 45 miles, in around 15 minutes, to get to the hospital.

Every good moment with my dad went through my mind on the way to the hospital. I cried continuously, thinking what life would be like without him.

When we finally got there, all my aunts and uncles were waiting for us. My mom took us in a room, and told us our dad had died. The feelings that ran through my heart and body at that time...are so intense that they could never be described in words.

Mom told us that the doctors had done everything they could but there was no chance for my dad; he had a massive heart attack, killing him instantly.

Although it has been almost 6 months, I still remember that day as if it were yesterday. Life seems to be so unfair and you lose the people who mean the most to you.

Never doubt what you have and NEVER take it for granted because it a minute, everything can change and you can never go back.

After that day, we got hundreds of cards, over 40 plants and flowers, and many memorials. Each one of them said the words "I'm sorry", as if that would make everything better. Two simple words could not fix the pain and anger I had inside.

Even today, I miss him more than anything in the world. I would give anything to have him back. But I've realized that I can survive without him. Maybe sometime looking back, I will realize that this experience made me a stronger person.

Things happen for a reason, and even though we might not know the reason, it is important that we learn from it. I still think about him every day, about how much of my life he's missing but most importantly, about all the good times we had together and the memories that I will have forever.

I realize that my tears are not only because of the heartache and pain that I feel without him, but I also cry because I love him and I know deep down that he will always be with me.
Copyright © 2001 Kendra Guisinger

I read about your page recently, and when I saw that you had a section for dealing with grief and loss, I decided to submit this poem. I wrote this my freshman year in college, when a classmate of mine from high school had passed away with cancer. I hope it can help others who read the passages on your site.

TO MY ANGEL

Sometimes the greatest people on earth
Are the ones who are taken away.
The greatest smiles, the greatest hearts,
We beg and plead to stay.

But sometimes the unexpected will happen,
And sadly there's nothing to do.
Just sit idly by, and wait and cry,
And curse this nightmare come true.

Sometimes encouraging words are exchanged,
And most of the time we shed tears,
And we look on in awe of the greatest strength
Attempting to beat all our fears.

And when you last hugged your greatest hug,
You knew it might be your last.
But you threw out the thought and closed your eyes,
Because it "can't be happening this fast."

When you come to the end of this greatest fight,
You'll see this person who cared.
And you'll know he's forgiven you for all the bad times,
And loves you for all that you've shared.

It seems sometimes the greatest people on earth
Must endure the most difficult things.
That's because this world has been harsh enough...
And they look better in angel wings.
Copyright © 1999 Terry Greiner

My mother passed away when I was 10 years old and sometimes I'll just sit down and get to thinking about her. I wrote this one night around Mother's Day and had it put in our local newspaper. I hope someone reads it and it helps them deal with the loss of their mother.

She was only 36 when she died and it was a real shock to everyone. We all miss her. I especially do now around Mother's Day.

I just want to tell everyone out there who is lucky enough to have a mother to share Mother's Day with and every other holiday for that matter to do just that. Spend the day with her and really show her that you appreciate her. You never when she might not be there anymore.

Dear Mom,

How I wish you were here to make some smiles and spread some cheer. I know you can see the changes in me, no matter how far away you might be.

You're missed so much and loved even more, the memories I'll keep and forever adore. We'll meet again and when we do, you'll hear three words, that's "I Love You".
Missy Adams --- Kentucky

I think of you in silence
And no one sees me weep.
Because my silent tears are shed
While others are asleep.

God gave me the strength to face the sorrow,
The courage to bear the blow.
But what it meant to lose you,
Only He will ever know.

They say time helps us to forget
But time so far has only proved
How much I miss you yet.
Author Unknown
Submitted by Missy Adams --- Kentucky

SNOW

God sent snow,
As if to wipe away,
And cleanse,
Even for a moment,
My soul,
Crying out to Him,
For my world was filled with despair,
Sorrow and loneliness.

The snow fell softly,
Like angel wings,
Silently,
Like the tears on my cheeks,
And suddenly,
In the quiet of the night,
My soul became still.

The snow will not last,
But for me,
It was a sign of hope,
Of God's never-ending love for me,
His child.

The message I received that night,
Is that in my haste to receive the gift of healing,
I had overlooked the miracles
That God has already worked in my life.

The miracle of life and breath,
The miracle of a smile,
An embrace of tenderness,
A call or letter from a friend,
And the joyous sound of my child's laughter.
Copyright © 2000 Joey Robertson

TWO MOTHERS ALIKE

I had a mother,
So sweet and fair.
I still can remember
Her soft brown hair.

It was long ago,
But not forgotten.
For, it was of her flesh
That I was begotten.

I loved her so.
But, our Lord did, too.
So, we gave her to Him,
Our eyes filled with dew.

She now is in Heaven ...
In a place that was made
For only our mothers,
Whose love never fades.

I now have another,
That loves me the same.
I, also, call her mother.
For, God gave her that name.

I love her as much,
If not any more.
She's a warmth to my heart,
And holds the key to it's door.

Words cannot express,
The charm that she holds.
She's just like all mothers,
That come from God's mold.
Leslie M. Willson, Sr.
Submitted by Lock Willson --- Florida

We often just sit around and talk about old times
Replaying the things that we did over and over in our mind
As we get caught up in that moment it's hard for us to know
That your friendship was taken so early,
Jeremy, why did you have to go?

We send you a toast every time we drink
And you know we blow the smoke up every time we think
We never did forget about you and we never ever will
We always think about how we could count on you to always keep it real

Jeremy, things could never be the same without you here by our side
And even the guys in our click never let the tears hide
We threw your eighteenth birthday like we all said we would
And we wished you could have been there to celebrate in the hood

Jeremy, your memory lives on through your little brother, Ty
Though we sometimes find ourselves trying to explain to him why
I want you to know that we all love you man
And we wish we could make it change
We have you in our hearts, though it will never be the same

WE LOVE YOU JEREMY,
Deanna, Michael, Lil' Mike, Ty, Amber, Michelle, Margaret, Jessica, J-Roc,Lil' Bryan, Kelly, Kacy, Tristen, Jessica, Kristy H. and everyone else in theNTZ --- Also the Class of 2001

He was the light that brightly shone
He was the joy that filled the room
He was the laughter that filled the air
He was the jewel, precious and rare

He didn't have sex and smoke
Rather than alcohol, he would have coke
And so he drove home on that starry night
But he turned left, rather than right

As he turned the corner, a light he did see
Coming straight from the car, driven by me
I lost control as I was driving
Barely a second later, everyone was crying

I could see his car shattered into pieces
And soon enough I was talking to Jesus
I prayed that everything would be all right
That the boy would be safe on this starry night

Jesus answered to me with a saddened voice
"The stars you see are young girls and boys
Whose lives have been taken from them too soon
And heaven is giving them more room

So that whenever you look to the sky
You see lives innocently gone by
And you are reminded of the beauty in them
And you see the beauty of the place called heaven

The boy's fate depends on you
For the impossible has become true
Your mistake has lead to a tragedy
The boy's fate will rest on thee

If you can lead a better life
Do favors for people, and be a good wife
If you can try hard, the boy will live
And the boy, my father, and I will all forgive

So I sat alone on that starry night
Trying to think of how to make a wrong right
And the only conclusion that I could draw
Was to never again break the law

For drinking was not my biggest mistake
But a chance that I had chosen to take
Can you imagine what might have happened instead
If I handed the keys to one of my friends?
Copyright © 2001 Chelsea Hallman

In memory of our beloved father M.S.Lim Jin Swee
Who was welcomed home to Jesus on October 15th, 1999

"And it came to pass, as they still went on, and talked, that, behold, there appeared a chariot of fire, and horses of fire, and parted them both asunder; and Elijah went up by a whirlwind into heaven" --- II Kings 2:11

GOING HOME ON GOD'S CHARIOT OF FIRE

My daddy went through his first major surgery to remove two thirds of his cancerous stomach in December 1997. The morning before surgery, daddy had prayed for an extra two years of life from God.

Enduring the pain from surgery and sufferings from chemotherapy without real complaint, daddy grew strong in the Lord Jesus. Dear daddy never once failed to thank God for all things and trusted God implicitly.

Fifteen months later, daddy went through another major surgery to remove an infected gall bladder. This surgery weakened him further. As his health deteriorated and pain increased, daddy took the extra time granted by the Lord Jesus to sort out his personal matters.

He took great care in packing his favorite tools neatly away and each night, when all slept, daddy wrote his memoirs. During my visits, he looked forward to my reading his favorite scripture passage, II Kings 2 pertaining to prophet Elijah's ascent to heaven on the chariot of fire.

Sighing longingly daddy would say, "Wouldn't it be nice to go home to heaven on the chariot of fire?" He continued, " I could not remember the experience of being born into this world but I am looking forward to experiencing going home to Jesus."

By now, he was ready to go home to Jesus where he would no longer experience all the sufferings, pain and hunger, as promised in the bible.

On the morning of his death, our beloved daddy called all of us, his children, to his bedside. Strangely he asked to stand up, as if to greet someone or something majestic. Since he was too weak, we propped him into a sitting position on the bed. Daddy looked up to heaven and his countenance changed into one of total serenity and there was something else there too. We saw excitement; awe, pure wonder and we felt indescribable peace.

Daddy's hands were stretched out and clenched in front of him, as if holding on tightly to something, minutes before his heart stopped and with a single teardrop he left us for glory.

The Lord Jesus gave daddy his extra 2 years and he went home to glory at the ripe old age of 79 1/2 years clutching tightly onto God's chariot of fire.
From the family of the late M.S. Lim
Submitted by Deniece Lim --- Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia

In honor of my mother...

MY MOTHER'S HANDS

I'll always love my mother's hands,
whose quiet strength held dear,
each tiny palm she sheltered there
to quell our youthful fears.

I won't forget her soft caress,
across my fevered brow;
each stroke professed, her loving care,
a tender, steadfast vow.

I'll always love my mother's hands,
her firm yet warm embrace;
her skin, so soft, and subtle clasp
a touch time can't erase.

I won't forget her gentle grasp,
a silent bond we'd share;
and understood, between us both,
the meaning that was there.

I'll always love her thoughtful side,
when mind and hand would mate,
to take imagination's lead,
and beauty would create.

I won't forget the hands that worked,
from dawn until we slept,
to hold a job and still provide,
an ordered house well-kept.

I'll always love her fingertips,
that sought to curl in mine,
they left their swell within my heart,
an imprint now divine.

I won't forget the way they aged,
their storied lines so deep,
were filled with prayers that folded still,
for God, her soul to keep.

I'll always love our final touch,
I reached for her to find
her hands were still, but held their grace,
forever in my mind.
Copyright © 2000 Marlene Wessel

"In the night of death, hope sees a star and listening love can hear the rustle of a wing."
Robert G Ingersoll
Submitted by Mohammed Ali Ayub --- U.K.

About two years ago I called my friend in Long Island, where I used to live, to say hi. She sounded sad and I asked her what was wrong. She told me that one of the guys in my old church youth group had been hit by a truck and killed the day before.

It stunned me, because I had known him for a long time, and it saddened me, because I'd known him for so long and never had known him well.

The next day I wrote this poem for him. I know that because he was a Christian, and so am I. I will see him again someday and I know I will know him, and I know I will say "hi".

Got the news yesterday
It stunned me
Thought they were playing a joke
But then she sounded like she was gonna cry
And I knew it was no joke.

It hasn't hit me yet
I haven't cried for you
From such a long way away
I haven't seen you in a while

And when I did we never spoke
I didn't know you well
And I didn't really think about it
Because I never did

And then I called her yesterday
Just to say hello
And she said
You were dead
And silence filled my room

And I didn't want to believe it
Didn't want to think
I've known you for so long
Never thought that one day
I would never be able to see you again

And now I wish I had known you better
But I always thought that you wouldn't want to talk back
And now I can't.
But I will someday

Someday I will see you again
On streets of gold
And then I will walk up to you
And say hi.
Written by Sarah V., Age 17 --- Massachusetts

The lightning is like anger filled sorrow uncontained
Released to ravage where it may,
The thunder as a warning growl to come before,
The clouds are like the brooding eyes of a parent,
The rain like tears shed in sadness,
The wind like the sound of bemoaned loss,
The heat in the air like comfort unwanted,
The storm itself like the release of grief, long and enduring,
The bright sky behind as life,
Going on even after the despair for lost ones.
Copyright © 2001 Mykayela Hardman

This a poem that I wrote in a matter of about 3 minutes a few nights ago. I have been having trouble dealing with the deaths of two friends last year.

I never really grieved about the deaths and the words to this poem just say that no matter what we go through, no matter how long ago it was and no matter what you are going through, good or bad, God is always there showing his love. We may not be able to see His love at that point in time but it is there.

YOUR LOVE

I run to you in the morning,
I run to you in the evening
You never turn me away.

I run to you in strength,
I run to you in weakness
You never turn me away.

I run to you in sorrow,
I run to you in happiness
You never turn me away.

I run to you in victory,
I run to you in defeat
You never turn me away.

Your love is unconditional,
Your love in un-ending
You will never turn anyone away!
Written by J.R., Age 17 --- B.C., Canada

Being only a five hour drive from the site of this tragic crash, I was very touched and moved by the massive pain the United States must have felt as they lost their soldiers in Gander, Newfoundland.

I will never forget going to work the morning of the crash, being shocked and saddened by these deaths. I came home that evening and penned these lines, hopeful and faithful that their deaths were not in vain, and that one day the pain of the tragedy will ease for all left behind to mourn.

IN REMEMBRANCE OF THE ARROW AIR CRASH

God, our Father, hear my prayer, 'though this I've often said.
Understand how much I care for the two hundred and forty six dead.
They died as servers of their land, far away from their hometowns,
In a place called Gander, Newfoundland,
When the plane they were in went down.

Guide them safely to Your side, for no wrong have they done.
Theirs was a duty of courage and pride, appreciated by everyone.
Help their families here on earth through a painful Christmas time,
When, instead of celebrating your birth, they're accusing you of crime.

Help them try to understand You, too, are feeling pain.
Let them know your Guiding Hand is with them every day.
Encourage them to please have Faith
That they will one day be united in Your Kingdom of Grace,
With their loved ones for Eternity.
Copyright © 1985 K. Allison Taylor

GOD STILL COMFORTS HIS OWN

If angels can speak great words from above
And fly with wings of God's given love
If chariots can ride over dark clouds
And instruments can sing praises out loud
If sparrows can stand on the housetop alone
Then God still comforts His own
Copyright © 2000 Joyce C. Lock

May God reach down and love you in His own special way.
May you know you're loved, each and every day.
May you see, from God's dear eyes, the value of your worth.
May His love show you the most precious things on this earth.
Copyright © 2000 Joyce C. Lock

A man's wife and son died. Having gone through much searching in attempt to make peace with their death, he later remarried. A few years passed by, and as he was at the grave site - he looked over and noticed his son standing on the stones of his deceased family.

God said to the man, "Did I not give life and breath and create this son, that is standing on these very stones, from your very own flesh and blood?"

The man said, "Yea."

Then God said, "Did I not also use the flesh and blood of your wife to give you this son, and this all came from me?"

The man said, "Well, yea."

Then God said, "If it were not for these stones, this son would not have been."

The man said that though he didn't claim to understand everything about God, God did as He said He would and turned sorrow into joy.

We don't always understand God's purpose for the stones that bring us sorrow. But, were it not for the sorrow, we would not know joy. All things work together for good to those who love the Lord and are called according to his purpose.

May you find comfort in knowing that God will always do the most loving thing possible toward you.
Heard this on TV
Submitted by Joyce C. Lock

Last night I received an email from Mom saying "Hi Shell, kind of a bummer day and I know why I am feeling this way. 3/3/83 is the day Nesto died and after 18 years you would think I would get over it. But looks like I never will."

Normally we write long letters and tell each other all the little details of the day, but with these few lines I could actually feel her crying. I usually send her jokes when she is down, but this time I didn't think is was right to try and make her laugh. You see Mom is not one to let her feelings out and I figured if she is crying, maybe that is what she needs to do.

NESTO'S LOVE

At this very moment,
I feel as helpless as can be.
My Mom is sad and lonely,
And I am far away in Italy.

Even if I were sitting next to her,
There is nothing I could do or say.
Her sorrow is understandable because 18 years ago today,
3/3/83, Nesto past away.

Nesto was her one true love,
All though they could fight like cats and dogs.
They used to sit in front of the fireplace
And watch the flames dance upon the logs.

Nesto was a hard working man
And as strong and healthy as could be.
That's why it was such a total shock
When his heart quit suddenly

Only time can heal the grief,
At least that is what they say.
But for 18 long years Mom has mourned
And truly suffers on this certain day.

With the deaths of my sons Cody and Brian, I felt that I could never know happiness again. I have been blessed enough to have two more beautiful sons.

The words of Elizabeth Glaser (spoken after her daughters death from AIDS, before her own death from the disease) have helped free me from the guilt of happiness and stopped me from wallowing in what I have lost, instead remembering what I have gained.

"My job is not to be happy because my child died. My job is to happy in spite of it."
Elizabeth Glaser
Submitted by Laurie V. --- B.C., Canada

"We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey."
Kenji Miyazawa
Submitted by Steve H., Age 16 --- U.K.

MEMORIES OF YOU

Not long ago you left me,
I didn't know what I would do,
But after crying, I thought,
Of the memories I have of you.

Memories keep me alive,
Memories keep me sane,
Sometimes I forget you died,
Sometimes it is etched in my brain.

If I died now I would join you,
But I know I have to wait,
Nothing is that simple,
I would rather rely on fate.

Maybe, if I hold on for a while,
I will overcome my fears,
Holding on will make seeing you again special,
It will be worth all of the tears.

I believe that you are in heaven now,
And I want to join you someday,
I am trying to live my life like you lived yours,
That's all I ever pray.

"If someone asks you about someone that has had died in your life and you say "He passed away" usually they say "I'm sorry". Next time this happens don't say "It's okay" because usually it's not."
Author Unknown
Submitted by J.D., Age 12 --- New York

HELPING THROUGH THE GRIEF - Page 11

Helping Through The Grief

Remembering 09-11-01

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