HELPING THROUGH THE GRIEF - Page 23
"Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime, and falling in at night. I miss you like hell."
Edna St. Vincent Millay
September 15, 2003
MOVING ON
It is HARD to accept the death of a loved one; especially when you didn't have the chance to say goodbye; especially when the deceased was taken so suddenly and so shockingly at the prime of life and most especially when it seems like an irreplaceable part of your world is gone. The grief and the pain can be unbearable; you cry a river and your sorrow knows no end. You never really know what it's like until you are there yourself, but you look to God because he's the only one who can comfort you.
Death and indeed a death so sudden and painful like the death of my aunt two months ago, makes me realize the brevity of life. We often take life for granted; too much so. Her death has made me sit down and reflect. It has made me take time to appreciate the loved ones in my life because I don't know what tomorrow will bring. It's made me put things in perspective. I want to live life and love it; I don't want to spend my life being unhappy or dissatisfied. I want to put a smile on my face because that's what can make a dark day seem bright and I want to play the game of life to the very end.
So for those of you who can identify with me in grief, make it your aim to try and look past it and move on. My aunt is gone; I cannot bring her back, but at least in memory of her, I can live a life that I know she would be proud of. Our loved ones may be dead and gone but we are privileged to still be living and we owe it to them to live fulfilling lives.
Copyright © 2003 Dinah Hanson (Accra, Ghana)
September 15, 2003
"The heavy hands of afflictions squeeze us not to destroy our lives, but to bring the best out of us."
Copyright © 2003 Jose B. Cabajar (Isabela, Philippines)
The Bible says in Job 23:10, "but he knoweth the way that I take: when he hath tried me, I shall come forth as gold."
September 15, 2003
My 20-year-old boyfriend, the love of my life, was killed in a car accident July 23, 2003 and I was in the car with him when he died. I wrote this poem and many others to express how I am feeling and I am sharing it with you in hopes that others will understand that they are not alone in grief.
I am scared of so many things that I never was before
I wish I could go back in time- I couldn't ask for more
I miss the wonderful plans we made
The memories we shared could never fade
But where do I go now? What do I do?
How do I continue to live without you?
Others may think I can continue where I was before I met you
They don't understand that it's impossible to do
Having you in my life, was the best dream come true
But since you've left this world, the sky is a different blue
Words can't describe the emptiness inside
I get so lost without you here, please Gar, I need you as my guide.
You can no longer be seen, by the human eye,
But your soul and love that you gave so many, will never ever die
Sometimes I wish I could tell myself that you'll be back someday
If I could make just one wish right now, I'd wish you back to stay
I guess this is the way life goes, and God's will we must accept
But I hope you didn't feel this pain or weep the way I've wept
I miss a million things, every detail of who you are
I miss your mind, body and soul- I pray that heaven's not too far
I still say I'm one very lucky girl to have been given the gift of you
Love like ours is rare these days;
I guess this earth can't handle things so pure and true
People who knew us as a couple saw the happiness perfect love brings
So many people in this world care too much more
About less valuable things
You taught me so much in the short time we spent together
You taught me the value of the truest of loves
That I'll carry it with me forever
I know that I shouldn't question God
Because obviously he knows more than I
But I can't help constantly asking myself
"Why did he have to die?"
Why can't all your dreams come true?
No one deserves them more than you.
I look around and see so many mean people who get to keep living
Why did God take you if He is just in His giving?
I have thought maybe He chose you
Because you were better than the rest
I pray everyday that heaven is as perfect as you;
You only deserve the absolute best
They say that only the good die young, never were words so true
I wonder if I had lived the way you did, if God would have taken me too?
Copyright © 2003 Lauren DeVito
September 15, 2003
"People never die as long as someone remembers them."
Author Unknown
Submitted by Lenny Schmidt --- Iowa
September 15, 2003
January of 2003 I lost a very dear family friend. Actually, he was more like my grandfather. I owe everything to this man he watched me grow up. His death destroyed me because I didn't get a real chance to say goodbye.
I was too selfish with my time and never made the effort to visit him while he was in town, I always figured that there would be another chance. I missed that other chance, a few too many times, and I hate myself for it.
*Remember to always let those you love and cherish know how much they mean to you because one day, we will run out of tomorrows, and will never get the chance to do what you wanted to do "tomorrow"*
Just another morning, an early bright gaze saw my mother walk in my room with such pain on her face. She said three words to me: "Francisco passed away". Couldn't believe that sentence and shamefully I looked away. Didn't want to face the truth, I tried so hard to be strong but how can you hide the stabbing knife those words took to my heart?
The darkness of my clothes and soul made the sunny day turn grey. Walked into his funeral and tears poured down like rain. This man was so loved, so why take him now? I wished more then ever he would wake up and make me smile.
Kneeling by his side he looked so beautiful to me but as I felt his hands,so cold, only thing to do is grieve. Never will I see my hero again, the man who made sure I always had something to eat. He is the reason I still exist.
Saying my goodbyes was truly hard. Seeing him in a box broke my heart in two. Still feeling his coldness, I wanted to get him a blanket or two.
"Please God take care of him, I prayed. I promise I will always remember him and be grateful for the sacrifices he made."
Gave his gentle hand a kiss, and a small wave. I walked away from his temporary home with some sort of relief knowing that he won't be alone; Angels will guide him, I know. Seven months and rivers of tears later I still weep for him but then I stop, and remember that now my "Panchito" has wings.
Written in 2003 by Nancy T., Age 17, Illinois
September 15, 2003
A SPECIAL BIRTHDAY
Please God, make them remember that
Today is a special birthday.
Make them understand that
The memories don't go away.
Bless them, with ears to hear and hearts that care.
Enable them to listen while I share.
Shelter them that they may never know my pain.
Help them to help me know that my child's life was not in vain.
Help them to remember, Lord that I wish that my child was here
So we could still celebrate.
To understand that I still feel the nearness of my child.
To see beyond my smile and the Words, "I'm okay."
Please God, just let one remember today
Is a special birthday!
Author Unknown
September 15, 2003
"Death is a graduation. When we're taught all the things we came to teach, learnedall the things we came to learn, then we're allowed to graduate."
Elisabeth Kubler-Ross