The other day I looked into my wife's eyes and realized that the special glow was gone. This brightness had been replaced by a dull foggy stare.
I've always thought that one of my main responsibilities, as her husband, was to keep that glow bright and sparkling, like crystals in the sun. Some say that our soul shines through our eyes and reveals how well we are really doing. It was then that it dawned on me that I had deeply hurt her and quenched that fire.
The sparkle is gone and I was the one who had taken it away. The question now is, "do I have the courage to enter that deep holy sanctuary of her soul and fan those smoldering embers back into the fire that once was there?" Do I even know how?
Can the thief that stole her joy and wounded her dignity be trusted enough to replace what was stolen? Would she open her heart to me the one that wounded her in the first place?
I have trampled on something holy and have defiled my most loved treasure. To suck the life out of someone you love is the worst of sins. Why is it that we so often do this to the people we love the most? What demon drives us to this insensitivity and blindness? With me it is my wife, maybe for you it's your child or your mate. In any case," have you looked into their eyes lately?"
The only way I can think of to renew her life is to give her mine. She never wanted a big house, a fancy car or money. All she ever really wanted was me. But I wasn't there.
Somehow, I thought that I was proving how much I loved her by how hard I worked and the lifestyle we enjoyed. I never saw that all she really wanted was to be near me. Probably, because I never thought that I was good enough to want or that wonderful to be around in the first place.
It was our time together that she needed. She needed my ears to listen, my arms to hold, my hands to give a reassuring touch and my voice to gently encourage. If two truly become one when they marry, and if one is wounded then how can the other be complete? I really don't understand why she would even want me around. I'm around me all the time and I don't enjoy it one bit!
Maybe, just maybe, it's because deep inside her, she really does love me. Maybe, just maybe, it's time I learned the proper way to love her back, with honor, gentleness and true concern.
I know I can start the fire again if I take the time to listen, to hold, to comfort, to honor and to praise her. I will begin to let her know in a thousand different ways how much she truly means to me. She is and always has been the most important person in my life, but somewhere along the way I forgot to show her.
Today I'll try a hug. Tomorrow praise. Who knows, someday FIRE!
Copyright © 2009 Ken Freebairn