The Art Of Forgiveness
As humans, we sometimes find it hard to forgive those who hurt us. We're either too proud or stubborn and would rather ignore the situation and hold a grudge. Unknown to us, this just causes bitterness in our hearts or even creates health problems.
I believe we are spiritual beings experiencing human life to learn lessons, to grow and become more aware of our connection to our soul and God. To forgive those who hurt you can only bring peace in your heart, letting go of the past, and letting the one who asked for forgiveness experience their own spiritual growth.
I grew up with an alcoholic step dad. There were a lot of moments when he would beat us boys and my mom. Many times we ran away from home out of fear and slept over at hospitals, police stations, strangers or even at the next-door neighbor.
It all started when I was about 2 years old, right through to my early twenties. I'm the eldest among four boys. I thank God that though each of us is scarred, we still kept our heads straight. None of us abuse alcohol.
At some point in my late twenties I forgave my step dad in my heart, not directly. None of my brothers forgave him. They hate him, yet still talk to him. I feel the most sorry for my mom because after all these years, they are still together.
My step dad has calmed down a lot, however there are moments he starts again.
About a month ago, I came to visit my parents. They were having financial difficulties and I knew he was going to start again. Normally my dad is home in time for supper after closing his business. He came home late at 11pm that night, drunk as a skunk. I was the only one still awake and for some reason didn't go to bed, felt I had to wait and for once in my life, be protective over my mom.
Talking to me, he was swearing at my mom and my brothers, telling me tonight he will beat everybody up. He had a soft spot for me. Though I was the one who suffered the most beatings, and still carry a lot of fear and emotional baggage, he didn't say one bad word towards me that night. I just listened and watched him expressing his anger.
Then it happened. A moment I thought would never happen. He started crying, admitting his faults, and asking for my forgiveness.
I analyze a lot and knew a long time ago that he probably had tough childhood too and didn't know better.
I felt happy that night; relieved that I managed to not only calm him down, but to get him to open his heart and ask for forgiveness. I did forgive him a long time ago; just makes it more magical to do it face to face.
It does not change the past, what we went through, however the future has not happened yet; we only have today to make the best of our lives.
Copyright © 2011 Miguel Frade
I am just average guy, not married yet, working in a supermarket. I don't normally write anything. It's my first time and I thought it may be good thing to share my story.
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