Have you ever tried to "force" a personal or business relationship to happen? I believe most of us will agree that usually made it harder to attain or it was somehow lost using that approach. And even if it happened, the other party usually had second thoughts or even tried to back out of the arrangement later on.
In this writing, I would like to discuss the "art of allowing" when it comes to our relationships.
Whether it is for personal development or in a family or business setting, there requires an acceptance period or a "process of allowing" which helps to bring the fruits to our tables.
Yes, we may get impatient or recall reading in some book about the need to be aggressive to get what we want. But, what I have found to be most effective is to allow the other party time to gain a sense of comfort with me.
For those that have had some experience with cats, please allow me to illustrate by example:
Have you ever "pleaded" for a cat to come to you and he did not? ... and then, upon deciding to simply allow your 'independent friend' to come, he did? Why did he finally decide to come to you? I have found with our cat Festus that he will come when I have put myself into a calm state of allowing and it certainly helps when I send thoughts of love his way, as well. The same principle applies when we wish to advance a relationship ... if it's meant to be, just allow it to come!
Please understand that "allowing" does not mean being passive or inactive when we are in alignment with correct action. When right action is known then, of course, "act on it"!
OK, so how will I known when it is "right action"?
Right Action = Feels Right ... you feel energized and inspired to go forward! Conversely, the other paths just feel awkward, unnatural or tense ... you are always questioning yourself when doing it. Right action is inspired action that gains its own momentum as you do it!
I believe that many have heard that most of the messages that we send out to others are non-verbal; i.e. through body language and / or through positive or negative energy that either attracts or repels the other party. For those that are married or in close relationships, how many can recall 'not having said a word', but yet their partner "felt" a strong message being sent to them?
In business relationships there is often a critical "germination period", where the prospect will process many factors ... one factor that many ignore is their sense of connection with the other party.
So... how can we invite this connection?!
Please allow me to highlight some ways that have helped me:
- Quiet the ego ... thoughts of ourselves often get in the way when building a relationship
- Trust in your heart - that is the compass that points the way to right action
- Do the 'right thing' towards others; i.e. what you would have others do unto you
- Show that you care about the other ... this must be a genuine caring, however, otherwise they will "sense" that they are being misled, at some level. With your expression of genuine caring they will then feel more comfortable towards you and it will help form a foundation based on a deeper sense of trust.
- Conduct yourself in a manner which is in alignment with the type of relationship you wish to foster; i.e. "acting as if"
Copyright © 2009 Edward G. Drennan