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HELPING THROUGH THE GRIEF

PAGE 15

"Sorrow is knowledge, those that know the most must mourn the deepest, the tree of knowledge is not the tree of life."
--- Lord Byron

 

There is no music in a rest, but there is the making of music in it. In our whole life-melody the music is broken off here and there by "rests" and we foolishly think we have come to the end of the tune. God sends a time of forced leisure, sickness, disappointed plans, frustrated efforts, and makes a sudden pause in the choral hymn of our lives; and we lament that our voices must be silent, and our part missing in the music which ever goes up to the ear of the Creator.

How does the musician read the "rest"? See him beat the time with unvarying count, and catch up the next note true and steady, as if no breaking place had come in between. Not without design does God write the music of our lives. Be it ours to learn the tune and not be dismayed at the "rests." They are not to be slurred over, not to be omitted, not to destroy the melody, not to change the keynote. If we look up, God Himself will beat the time for us. With the eye on Him, we shall strike the next note full and clear.

John Ruskin
Submitted by Pat Schemmel --- Michigan


This is a quote that helped me and many of my classmates get through one of the toughest times in our life when a classmate was killed in a snowmobile accident. He is and will always remain in our hearts; he's our guardian angel!

"If tears could build a stairway,
We'd walk right up to heaven and bring you back with us!"

Author Unknown
Submitted by Amanda M., Age 17 --- Minnesota


It happened a long time ago, but the sadness stays with me still. My great grandmother, at the ripe old age of ninety, passed away in the winter of 1993. It has been almost ten years, but it still saddens me to think about it. I remember when she came to live with my grandparents when I was six, because she was old, and in dire need of care. I remember that my sister of four was afraid of her, and would hide in the closet. My older sister wasn't very fond of the elderly, so she kept her distance. I loved Nana very much in the short time that I remember being with her. She was senile, and strange sometimes, but she made me laugh and smile.

I remember one time; she was sitting in her rocking chair when I came into the room. She motioned me to come over and sit with her. Gladly I skipped over and held her hand. She said, "Between you and me, you are my favorite great-grandchild. While your sisters ignore me, you talk to me." Hearing that did not only make me happy, but I felt so special. Never in my life had anyone told me I was a favorite. She had also told me she liked my freckles. Earlier, all I had heard were taunts from my sisters on how weird it was that I had so many.

A few weeks passed and it was Nana's birthday. We had a nice cake and all the family crowded into my grandmother's house for a celebration. Although no one told me (because I was so young), Nana was growing weaker. At the party, we took pictures and ate cake and had a good time. Nana gave my sisters and me a huge box of costume jewelry to play dress-up in.

A few months later, my mom (who was usually at work) picked me up early from school. I skipped from my first grade classroom all the way to the office of my elementary school, where I found my mom crying. I had never seen my mother cry before, so naturally, I was scared. She held my hand as we walked to the car. I clung to her, begging her to tell me what was wrong. She told my sister and me, in the car, that Nana had died that morning. Her nurse had come in to see her, and found her, lifeless on the bed. My mom told me the last thing she had heard was Nana complaining that she didn't want coffee.

Sitting in the car at her funeral, my sisters and I talked, and thought we should say a prayer for Nana. They didn't know it, but I cried silently, secretly wishing that it was just a dream. But it wasn't, and Nana didn't ever come back. This was my first and only real experience with a true loss. I have never felt such grief and pain in my life. It's December now, and this time of year always thinks about Nana, and how much I miss her.

Copyright © 2002 Lindsey Anderson


"Sometimes, God calms the storm.
Sometimes, He lets the storm rage and CALMS HIS CHILD."

Author Unknown
Submitted by Julie Feliciano --- Philippines


I wrote this poem after I was grieving over the death of my fiance in a car accident. I was a believer in God before the accident and still am. However, I came to the point where I resented Him, but I'm sure others, who have lost loved ones, have questioned God or blamed Him for all the bad things that happen.

DEAR LORD, I'M HURTING

Dear Lord,

Help me understand why my loved one had to die.
Help me to quit asking you "why?"

Forgive me for all those times I blamed you.
Help me understand that only you know why things happen
The way they do.

Help me understand that only you can heal my broken heart.
And that one day we'll meet again to never part.

Help me understand that for now I just have to let things be,
But that you will always be there to comfort me.

And though I may be living my worst fears,
One day you will make sure there are no more tears.

Help me be patient with those that do not understand my pain.
Help me to accept that this is my great loss,
But also your great gain.

Help me see through my blurry eyes,
All the love and mercy you have shown.
Help me to see that really,
You just called my loved one home,

And though it hurt deeply, you really did no wrong.
Help me to know that only my faith in you can keep me strong.

Lord, please carry me through this,
So that one day, when I see my loved one again,
I too may have eternal bliss.

From,

Your child

Copyright © 2002 Arlene Castro


Grandma? Hello...

It takes hours to see her,
It takes hours to get there,
I went to her house but she was not there.
The news pierced my heart the day that I read,
She was no longer with us,
My grandmother was dead.

Try as I may, try as I might,
I won't see her again until the end of this life.
I take one step closer, to the cliff of despair,
Take three steps, turn and run; launch myself into the air,
I drift quickly down, into the water below, the end of this life,
"Grandma? Hello...."

Anonymous, Age 12 --- Ontario, Canada


In Loving Memory of Angela Fuentes
(Oct. 28, 1982 - September 20, 2002)


A friend and coworker of mine, Angie, was recently murdered on the job. Although Christ has gotten me through the roughest times, this quote brings a tear of joy and a smile to my face. My prayers are with everyone. I love you Angie.

"When you lose someone you love, you gain an angel whose name you know."

Author Unknown
Submitted by Kathryn S., Age 17 --- Colorado


"Nothing is over until God say it is over.
For a life that's not built upon Christ, is built of crisis."

Copyright © 2002 Horsekie Love


"It may hurt when you find out that a loved one has passed but don't think of it and turn to tears. Instead, remember all the good times you shared with them and you'll feel like they never left. They will always be near in your thoughts, and alive in your hearts."

Copyright © 2002 Michelle Villarreal


To my love

"You passed away so suddenly, when I needed you most. I cannot tell how many times I wake up in the middle of the night, weeping and wishing that you are still alive. Making phone calls to a number that will never again be answered: My love, I can only think of you in my dreams and I know you are with me whenever there is a passing breeze."

Author Unknown
Submitted by Ange Salvador --- Kuala Lumpur, Singapore


I am submitting a poem that was read at a funeral of a very good friend. Our beloved friend, Mike, was killed in a car accident this summer. He was only 17 years old. We couldn't believe he was gone. This poem was written by one of his friends and read at the funeral. It has been 4 months since his passing and I think about him everyday. This poem has helped me get through this tough time.

Mike,

You left this world to soon
Your absence has left a hurting wound
But in our hearts, you're always there
We're the ones you laughed with, the ones who care
We have so many questions, we're wondering why
But you're not responding and so we cry
And you're not there to wipe our tears,
Console our pain, or take away our fears.

We know you'd want us to be strong
We'll see you in heaven before too long
We're so angry, confused, lost, and upset
Having you in our lives, we had no regrets
This love that has brought us all together
Is the same love we'll have for you...forever

We love you Mike!!

Submitted by Erica C., Age 17 --- Pennsylvania


"The sun will shine tomorrow and so will I."

Written in 2002 by David O. --- United Kingdom


On February 8, 2002, I lost an amazing friend to a car accident. He was only 20 years old. Giovann was always happy - he had the most amazing smile which just made you want to smile with him. I wish I could have told him how much I loved him, and how much I cherished his phone calls (we could talk for hours). I want him to know how brave his mom and brother are trying to be. They miss him so much. I really miss him, and even though I don't think I am thinking of him everyday - he is always on my mind. I love you so much 'G'. Below is something he sent to me a few weeks before he died.

"If I die, and go somewhere far,
I'll write your name on every star,
Just so the angels could look up and see
How very much you mean to me."

Taryn Tinker --- Cape Town, South Africa


I wrote this poem about a very close family friend who passed away in a horribly fatal car accident on June 2nd, 2002. Todd Helsel was supposed to graduate from high school 7 days after his death. I miss him more than anything but I know he is smiling down on me and occasionally walking with me. I love you and miss you Todd! My angel with blue eyes...Number 35 is still alive~*~Forever and Always in my heart~*~

I remember the call.
I remember the call early on Sunday morning;
My mom's voice was full of fright.
Her next words came with no forewarning;

"Todd died late last night."

I grew up with you and everyday,
I took your presence for granted.
Never thinking that you would ever go away,
Your charm made this word enchanted.

This is all a part of God's great plan,
And I'll see you very soon.
But sometimes I feel it is just a dream,
And I'll wake up the first of June.

But it is all a saddening and scary reality,
Now seeing your name etched in stone.
It's hard to believe the truth of this fatality,
It chills me down to the bone.

I look at your picture and see your face,
And I feel the heartache again.
I wish so badly I could have changed your fate,
So I can see your grin again.

But now all I can do is look to the sky,
Often to hide my tears.
Todd, did you think you really could fly?
It was one of my biggest fears.

It doesn't seem like you're gone too far,
Like you're just a whisper away.
When I am sad I look to your star,
And I can imagine just what you would say:

"Everyone be strong like me,
For I am not really gone.
I am sure we can all agree,
I touched the lives of thousands alone.
I was a great brother and a great son,
I made so many people smile.
So I'll see you when you are all done,
I'll be at the end of your mile."


Copyright © 2002 Candice Bowles


In Loving Memory of Tyler Anthoney Rezac (1983-2002)

"When Tomorrow starts with out me,
Remember I'm always in your heart."

Written in 2002 by Jessi A., Age 16 --- California


On April 27th, 2000 my 20-year-old sister, Jenni, went home to be with the Lord. Not a day goes by that I do not think of her and wish she was here. Reading this page has helped me so much! I want my sister to know that I love her with all my heart and I will always remember her smile and her kind heart! Here are some quotes that got me through!

"They that love beyond the world cannot be separated by it.
Death cannot kill what never dies."
William Penn

"You know that place between asleep and awake, where you still remember dreaming?
That's where I will always think of you."
Tinkerbell

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.
Matthew 11:28

The Lord has helped me through so much; the Bible is a great tool to help you through any pain the world may throw your way! I love you Jennifer Katherine, July 6th, 1979 - April 27th, 2000...you are my special angel and heaven is a more beautiful place with you in it!

Meghan Saylor --- Ohio


"The two hardest obstacles to deal with are life and death.
Once you embrace and accept them, you will experience peace."

Copyright © 2002 Kevin A. Woo


When I read this poem, it really made me think of someone I lost only 5 months ago. My husband's cousin was shot in the back, fell from a three-story balcony, and died before he even got to the hospital. He left behind so many loving friends and family. So I dedicate this to :
Christopher Dewayne Sexton 6/22/83 - 4/27/02


I think of you in silence,
And no one see me weep.
Because my silent tears are shed
While others are asleep.

God gave me the strength to face the sorrow;
The courage to bear the blow.
But what it meant to lose you,
Only He will ever know.

They say times helps us to forget
But time so far has only proved,
How much we miss you yet.

Author Unknown
Submitted by Stefanie Sexton --- Tennessee


"I have given to you Lord, our country's my most precious possession; a military service person. May you watch over and give them your love for they have given unto us their life and love to keep our country free."

Copyright © 2002 John F. Podojil
My sons serve in the military service. As with other parents, who have not only served in the armed services of the United States, but have given to the people of the United States our most cherished possession, our children, so they may serve and keep our country safe.


"Do not cry because it is over; smile because it happened.
Do not morn what is gone; celebrate what is here."

Author Unknown
Submitted by J. Earls --- North Carolina


" God does not waste an ounce of our pain or a drop of our tears; suffering doesn't come our way for no reason, and He seems especially efficient at using what we endure to mold our character. If we are malleable, He takes our bumps and bruises and shapes them into something beautiful."

Frank Peretti
Submitted by E. Cook--- Indiana


I lost a friend, Chris, who was very dear to my heart. He was only 19 and died of a pulmonary embolism. I wrote this at work, when I could bear the pain no longer. For Chris (BGH), who's now with his Jesus.

GOING HOME

Your grip on life fading, but every step fighting,
Trying so hard to hold on-but partly wanting to let go.
But in the end the fight was lost and you were taken from us.
A heartache and grief that no one can bare,
A hole, now empty, that can never be filled.
Though we grieve and we all ask "why you?"
Deep down in our hearts, we know you are where you destined to be.

For you are now in your father's arms,
A manchion on many rooms.
Though you may now be gone from our sight.
Everyday in our hearts you will be there.
Do not feel your life was in vain,
For you've taught us about the precious gift of life.
For now no one takes each other for granted,
And every time we say good-bye... we always say I love you.
And this we owe to you for teaching us to love one another in unity again.
Till we meet again.

Copyright © 2002 Sarai Penney


In Loving Memory Of Anastasia Lilya Latrovinia

MY ANGEL OF A FRIEND


I have a friend that is truly an angel. She was once on earth, but now she is on the streets of gold. The streets of gold I am talking about is heaven. Heaven seems to be an awesome place. If anybody literally deserves to spend eternal life in heaven then Lilya is certainly a person that truly deserves it.

She was a beautiful girl, and now she is a beautiful angel flying or whatever Jesus has her doing in heaven. A lot of times when I was down and Lilya was on mplayer I could always be assured that I would be smiling in a very small amount of time. She always had a hug ready when she saw I was on mplayer. Even though I never actually met her, I felt so close to her.

This certain friend of mine lived her short but well worth it life on earth, and now she is having eternal life in heaven. I just wish people would not hurt her by making fun of her cause she couldn't hear. Even though she couldn't hear, she still had feelings like everybody else. We didn't have a long time to get to know each other, but I enjoyed the time we did have together.

One thing that hurts me is I never got to say good-bye. I know that whenever it is my time to go, she will be waiting for me in heaven along with Jesus. I remember her always worrying about me, but she never wanted me to worry about her. She had a heart of gold! I know she is looking down from heaven at everybody on earth that she loved and still loves.

Written in 2000 by Tonya Toney


Rodney "Todd" Helsel. April 3rd 1984 - June 2nd 2002
Gone, but NEVER forgotten!

A FOOTBALL PLAYER WITH ANGEL WINGS


Accidents happen, that's what they all say.
That's why you are gone, oh so far away.
A young life lost, to great heaven above.
Flying away like a beautiful dove.

A handsome guy, with a thousand great friends,
None of whose hearts will ever mend.
A bright young kid, always wearing a smile;
Always willing to sacrifice and go the extra mile.

Some people talk, and yea they will chatter.
But we keep your Mom and Joey strong, that's the real matter.
A football star, with new angel wings,
Who heaven rejoiced for, and oh, did they sing.

A wrestler with the biggest, most tender heart,
Will care and watch over us never really to part.
Now he is safe, and away from all harms.
But we will all miss your amazing charm.

He is whispering to us now, for he is a bird.
So everyone listen, do not utter a word.
We all have a new angel, who has so much to give.
He will shower us with love and teach us to live.

Todd, we all miss you and through it all we have hung.
Because it is true, "Only the good die young."

Copyright © 2002 Marie Bowles


This is a poem about me and my friend Lucy. One day I turned around and everyone was mad at her. At the time I saw no reason for all my friends to be mad at her so I stayed by her side. She told me she was going to kill herself, so I stayed with her and told her "you have your whole life ahead of you, don't waste it. Once you get through this, you'll feel so proud."

So she got through the pain. She's all better now but she still ignores me sometimes for her new friends. It's just gotten to be too much, so I wrote this poem.


TRUST NO MORE

I hated seeing you hurting,
I hated seeing you blue.
So I told you that I'd always be there,
I was someone you could always talk to.

You were talking crazy talk,
Like 'this is my last breath.'
I stood by your side,
And helped you forget about your death.

You felt you had nobody,
I was ALWAYS there for you.
So you could throw it all away,
The stuff I helped you through.

Did you forget about our friendship?
All the support I gave to you?
You walk away like I am a loser,
Obviously I meant nothing to you.

Suicide made us close,
You said I was 'wicked kind.'
Now you've been hanging with new friends.
It hurts being left behind.

You've turned into Ms. Popular,
Everyone loves you now.
Congratulations, you left me in the dust,
Please.. Stand up and take a bow.

Copyright © 2002 Heather Mackinnon


This is a poem I wrote this year to a friend whose father passed away.

HEARTBREAK OF A FRIEND

I am left stunned by your pain
What am I to say to you my friend?
That I am angered at time, for it has betrayed you?
How I wish that I could turn it back, that I could change your fate

But I am powerless, I am but a poet
My words have no meaning, they offer no healing
More than a poet, I am a friend
And more than a poem, this is a wish

To comfort you when the world has no more sympathy
To fill your soul with a sense of hope
To restore the courage that you once carried, so proudly
To bring every dream you've had to life

Forgive me my friend; this is all I can offer
My emotional intelligence is too poor to bring you serenity
But know that you are forever in my prayers
And in these days of hurt, you shall stay constant in my thoughts

Copyright © 2002 Theresa Josephine Vlietstra


To my Mama with all the love in my heart. Still Mommy's Little Girl
I lost my best friend on March 4,2002, just three days before my birthday. My mom was precious to me and losing her has left a huge hole in my heart.

Her name was Floyce E. Boyd. She was only 57 years old. She had a massive heart attack and was gone in seconds. Mama I love you with my entire being.


IN MY HEART

I thought of you with love today,
But that is nothing new.
I thought about you yesterday,
And days before that too.
I think of you in silence.
I often speak your name.
Now all I have is memories.
And your picture in a frame.
Your memory is my keepsake.
With which I will never part.
God has you in His keeping.
I have you in my heart.

Written with love, Lisa


There you lay eyes closed,
Hands on your chest,
A rose by your side forever,
My child, you now shall rest.

Gently I kiss your cheek so cold, so stiff.
Please tell me this didn't really happen!
Open your eyes, just a little peek.
Far away you now will drift.

Slowly I turn away thinking of all the memories
You blessed me with each day.
Tears streaming down my face

Don't worry, my child, now it's all okay.
God will cover you with his grace
-Today, tomorrow, forever.

Just don't forget to save me a place
By your side, in your heart
And never again will we part.

Now the coffin's closed
With the memories, with the rose,
With my heart, with my sorrow.

But rejoice, for all will be okay,
For I have faith that God knows all
And to you, he will always give unconditional love,
-Today, tomorrow, forever.

Written in 2002 by Megan K., Age 15 --- Mississippi
Just because a loved one of yours dies, doesn't mean that it's bad. God has a plan for everyone...way before their birth and their death. Love this time you had with them, life is short to be cruel or unhappy, because...like I said, God is the only one who knows when they're going to leave us. But God will always love us...unconditionally...today, tomorrow....forever GOD BLESS!


My 23-year-old son was taken home to heaven after a bad car accident. He was to have graduated from college the following week. His dear friend wrote this for my husband and I, and we were so touched. I know we will see him again someday but still I miss him so.

I got the call this morning-
I pray it isn't true,
Of all the people in this world,
How could it possibly be you?

She told me how it happened
I begged her to say it wasn't so.
So close to all you wanted,
It cannot be time for you to go.

You knew right where you were going,
We have always been so proud.
You were just about to make it-
This simply can't be allowed.

You have touched so many hearts,
From you we all have learned.
We learned to love and live,
And you get what you have earned.

You earned all the love you got
Cause you were so sweet and worked so hard,
You proved that you could do it-
Then all of a sudden He drew your card.

I guess He must have needed you,
So he decided to close the book.
Yet I wonder if He knows,
How much we loved the life He took.

Never before has a lost loved one
Seemed so near.
Sometimes I get this feeling
And I know it's you right here.

Standing by your graveside
Down comes a butterfly
I know it's you saying I'm okay,
Cause like it says, I did not die.

You left the pain and suffering today
You are resurrected up above.
So now you can be our guardian angel
And you will protect us with your love.

We hate that you have left us,
It hurts to know that you are gone.
Though through the music and the memories,
You will help us carry on.

You have lighted all our lives
Which forever you will do.
Life's been hard since you left us,
But love will pull us through.

To our dearest friend departed,
We will never say good-bye;
We will say we'll see you later
When it comes our time to fly.

Copyright © 2002 Melissa Smith
Submitted by Jo N. --- Illinois


In tears we saw you sinking.
We watched you fade away.
You suffered much in silence.
You fought so hard to stay.

You faced your task with courage.
Through this, your spirit did not bend.
And you still kept on fighting,
Till the very end.

God saw you getting tired,
When a cure was not to be,
He then, wrapped his arms around you
And whispered "take a journey with me."

With tearful eyes we watched you,
As we saw you close your eyes.
Now we see you sleeping, so peacefully from pain.
Although we always love you deeply,
We could not wish you back to suffer that again.

Your golden heart stopped beating,
Hard working hand at rest.
God broke our hearts to prove us . . .
He only takes the very best.

We miss you now.
Our hearts are sore,
As times go by we miss you more,
Your loving smile, your gentle face,
No one will ever fill this vacant place.

Author Unknown
Submitted by Sarah J., Age 15 --- British Columbia, Canada


"Grieve and mourn for yourself, not once or twice, but again and again. Grieving is a great catharsis and comfort and a way of keeping yourself composed."

Morrie Schwartz
Submitted by Maureen W., Age 14 --- Hong Kong

 

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