I was the tallest girl in my class when I started school. It made me feel big, which in a world that promotes slim, made me believe I was fat. The small girls were seen as cuter. They got more attention from teachers and were more popular. Hating myself for not being small began when I was seven years old and by adulthood, I was convinced I was fat and ugly.
All I saw in the mirror was my cellulite and unruly hair. Someone had to pull me to a mirror to make me see I had pretty green eyes. Then one day I did something kind for me. It wasn't much, but it felt so good, eventually I did something else I liked. A funny thing happened. I realized I felt a little happy! Happiness wasn't a normal part of my life in those days, since I was too busy pleasing others to compensate for what I thought was wrong with me. It's hard to be happy when you ignore your own needs.
But doing something for me made me happy!
It began with a small splurge-spending a few extra bucks to buy a good brand of jam. Yum! Then I said 'no', a word rarely in my vocabulary, on a nasty day when the thought of going out felt lousy, and smiled a lot being cozy at home in my jammies. Each small kindness to me made me feel more kindly to me. I'd do something loving and feel happier, which made me want to do more. That focus on self grew into deep self-love.
I never thought I could like, no less love myself. But today my self-love is VERY strong. It's helped me develop extraordinary self-confidence, and lead me to reinvent myself from an unhappy schoolteacher to writing popular books and counseling people. Now I see myself as beautiful. It's funny that this once self-professed fat girl now has a sexy, curvy, wonderful bodywithout losing an ounce. Instead, I lost my unloving perception by loving me.
Now I'm giving back to say thanks for my blessings. Join me in taking baby steps to developing self-love. Every little loving act you do for you is another brick in the foundation of self-love. Every bit of self-love you build, leads to more. It's a synergy that facilitates happiness and well-being.
Copyright © 2010 Daylle Deanna Schwartz
Daylle Deanna Schwartz is a speaker, self-empowerment counselor, and best-selling author of 12 books, including Nice Girls Can Finish First (McGraw-Hill). She's been a guest on 400+ TV/ radio shows, including Oprah and Good Morning America.
In order to help people build more self-love, Daylle just launched http://howdoiloveme.com, where she has the 31 Days of Self-Love Challenge and is giving her book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways, away for free to give thanks for all her blessings. She also writes the popular blog on Beliefnet, Lessons from a Recovering DoorMat.
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