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(This is the tenth letter in the series)
September 23, 2011

Dear Child, I hope you've had the chance to reflect on what you read in the last letter, it is really revealing. I was trying to explain the Fast(in) Ability, and I used a personal illustration of my marriage, and my Fast(in) Ability at that time. Here are the results of the measurement I did for myself again: a. Facts not just Opinions ------ BROWN b. Ask the Right and Best Source ------ GREEN c. See in Systems ---------- BROWN d. Think and Act the Best Way --------BROWN e. Inquire, Expect, Prepare, Move ------- BROWN f. Never Assume ------- GREEN So my FAST(IN) Ability Grade/ Ratio is: 2 GREEN, 4 BROWN, 0 BLACK I said I was going to tell you what it means, so here it is: Facts not just Opinions: BROWN This grade showed me that I SOMETIMES GO THE EXTRA MILE to make sure any information on matters with my wife IS COMPLETE AND CORRECT. Therefore, I sometimes make decisions on what to do based on incomplete information, which sometimes leads us to disagree and argue; this could have been avoided, if only I did more information digging. Ask the Right and Best Source: GREEN This grade showed me that I HARDLY EVER ASK THE RIGHT PEOPLE about how to handle matters with my wife. I always look for people around me who are available at the time to give me advice. Sometimes, it's my friends and colleagues at work, who have never been married. Their advice, as sincere as it might seem, has made matters worse between my wife and I. See in Systems: BROWN This grade showed me that I SOMETIMES FIND OUT WHY my wife gets anxious, moody or even upset. I sometimes conclude of her behavior very quickly, whereas, I should find out more, why things are the way they are, so I would understand and handle matters better. Think and Act the Best Way: BROWN This grade showed me that I SOMETIMES RESPOND INSTEAD OF REACT to matters concerning my wife. When situations arise, there are times I let my emotions get in the way, especially when we are trying to agree on a matter and it is taking too much time; eg. When we should go and see a movie together. Inquire, Expect, Prepare, Move : BROWN This grade showed me that I TOOK LITTLE TIME to understand the life of my wife. There are some things I thought she should like since she is a woman; if I took the time to understand her, I would have known that she is different. For example, I expected my wife to love flowers, since most women do. She preferred a box of chocolates with a hand written poem to accompany it. I found out about this after 7 years of marriage. Never Assume: GREEN This grade showed me that I HARDLY EVER CONFIRM anything when it comes to matters with my wife. When things happen, I hardly take the time to find out if she is aware of it. I always assume that she knows and there is no need to ask her about it. This really gets her upset. Dear Child, since I have a lot of BROWN GRADES, it shows that I sometimes use the (6) culture rules in my marriage. Therefore, my Fast(in) Ability in my marriage is AVERAGE. Well, it was a real eye opener; as long as I continued to have an average Fast(in) Ability in my marriage, the results I would get would continue to be average. Now I know why the marriage had some issues; if I had known about my Fast(in) Ability a while ago, those issues would have been solved or even avoided. I needed to change..............very quickly. In my next letter, I will tell you what I did. Try to read this letter again, to make sure you understand it properly. Remember, your Culture is everything. Love, HiZen --- Copyright © 2011 HiZen-3 Ltd This story is a series of letters written by Segun Cadmus, Manager, HiZen-3 Ltd, a company created to be the Ultimate guide in Culture Management at work and life. Please visit us at: http://www.hizenworld.com for more information about what we do.   Please share a comment about Letter 10 with the writer: Email HiZen-3 Ltd   First Letter From HiZen   Second Letter From HiZen   Third Letter From HiZen   Fourth Letter From HiZen   Fifth Letter From HiZen   Sixth Letter From HiZen   Seventh Letter From HiZen   Eighth Letter From HiZen   Ninth Letter From HiZen

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